Be Still My Heart!!!!

This morning, I got up in not the best mood. I have been feeling sick for nearly 4 days now, headaches, nausea, sore muscles...yuck...and tired of not wanting to do anything. The house is a disaster zone, toys everywhere, dishes - lets not talk about that - and laundry needing my attention, yet I haven't felt like doing anything. I get my morning cup of joe, make my way to the computer to check my messages. The computer is being slow, which just adds to my sour mood...frustrated that it is taking soooo long to download my messages only to read "QiaoQiao's Birthday Pictures" in the subject line with a lovely paperclip (attachment) beside the message!!!!

I immediately start telling the kids to come to the computer, mute the tv and "LOOK!!!!" Yep, the tears started with picture #1 and continued through the whole lot of EIGHT! She is just gorgeous, what can I say. She looks very happy, the kids around her look happy and the adults in the room look very attentive. The cake, the fruit and the little danish type rolls on the table...oh, it just made my heart swell. On the wall it says "Happy Birthday" and the symbol for "Qiao". I found out that they call her "QiaoQiao" at the orphanage. Then all the girls have little bows in their hair, which looks like a craft project that they did and Elli has on a crown! They did make her day special! Thank you God.

They are clapping for our big girl's special day!

Look at the little girl beside Elli...is she excited or what?!?

Look at those sweet faces

"Happy Birthday Qiao"

"I'm Three!!"

Double 3's

This one may be my favorite. She is lovin' the attention...perfect fit for our family ;-)

Such an innocent face. Come on LOA!!!

Just the medicine that I needed!

Sending love & hugs to our sweet Elli,
Rodney, Marcy, Carter, Jacob, Parker & Anna

Happy Birthday Elli...

Sending much love & birthday wishes to our Elli,
Rodney, Marcy, Carter, Jacob, Parker & Anna

Package Full of Love...

I wish that we were giving Elli a Christmas present ourselves, but since that cannot happen THIS year, we are sending our lovely girl a care package. In the package there is an album with 10 of our pictures that I sent to our care package liaison in Beijing. She printed out the pictures, translated our information, along with a letter to the orphanage staff, a disposal camera in hopes that they will take some pictures of Elli and a musical toy. I had read in her reports that she liked music. Sometimes when I watch Anna sing and dance, it just breaks my heart because I know there should be another little girl dancing around the house with Anna. But soon....I pray soon. Then on her birthday, December 26th, she is sending the funds for a cake to be purchased for her. Again, we hope that there are some pictures taken.

Angela sent me a picture of the package she put together. I can't express in words the emotions that seem to just take over when I think about this little girl holding the album, thumbing through the pictures and what thoughts may go through her head. If you are a mother, then you have a sense of what it is like. You want your children to know you. You want to experience those special moments and those everyday moments. It thrills me to think of her getting a new toy, but it breaks my heart to know that I can't see her experience it. I don't know if she has ever had a toy or birthday cake of her own. I am going to miss it.

I know that she has changed so much over the last 8 months. Sometimes it is just about too much. Above everything else, we just want her to be safe, healthy and to be shown love. We pray that she is shown love everyday by her caregivers. It has been a feeling of helplessness and total lack of control for such a long time. This time of year is just harder I guess...you want your loved ones close. Ironic isn't it? The season that celebrates our heavenly father giving his son to us, we want our loved ones even closer.

The "stuff" doesn't matter. I just want all my babies home. We have "known" Elli for well over a year and been working to bring her to our home for almost a year...January 4th is the one year anniversary of being agency matched with her. God in heaven knows I don't understand this whole timing thing, but I know there must be a reason.

Sending much love, many hugs & kisses to our sweet Elli,

Rodney, Marcy, Carter, Jacob, Parker & Anna Mei

LID...

FINALLY!!! It took a while, but we finally got our LID (log in date). Our dossier was logged into the CCAA on November 18, 2008...which puts us at day 24! And that only 2 remaining items from CCAA before we go to meet our girl!!!!!!! I love checkin' off my list.

Sending love & hugs to Elli,
Rodney, Marcy, Carter, Jacob, Parker & Anna Mei

December the What????

Oh my gosh! Where has the last couple of weeks gone?!? It seems a blurr since Thanksgiving and honestly I probably can't recall very many of the days between then and now. Not that my social calendar has been full by any means, but there has been quite a bit going on plus sickness, so it seems as though December is quickly passing me by.

To make matters worse, Christmas shopping - HA!!! Christmas Tree - Nope! How horrible is that? I usually have my tree up the first of December, but this year is just kind of blah. I think it is a combination of not feeling well, being in a different house that doesn't feel like "home" and dreading the thought of ADDING another thing in the house has not motivated me to put up a tree. Thankfully, the kids haven't really said too much because they don't know where we will put it either! I think this maybe up for the "Worst Mom of the Season" award :-(

Sending love & hugs to Elli,
Rodney, Marcy, Carter, Jacob, Parker & Anna Mei